How to be 22 y/o and still not have a boyfriend…

To all the girls who want to be SSB (Single Since Birth) until they’re 22 or even older, read on and learn how it is done.

1. Stuff your bra with newspaper for a stage performance.
Your mad-awesome divaliscious Mariah Carey spoof/stand up gig ought to be done in front of your entire high school, just before you graduate. If a random batchmate asks if he can touch your hardened E-cups, allow him to. Afterall, it’s just crumpled paper, right? This may hunt you ’til your grandkids get married but hey! It’ll work, I tell you.

2. When guys ask you for your number, tell them “Sorry but my parents are strict”.
Well, even if your parents don’t care if you fail your subjects or they allow you to sniff cocaine, bottomline is, guys have to know that you’re not an easy ho.

3. Sing on your first date. A Japanese song. And fail miserably.
This won’t let you down, promise. You could expect your date’s reaction to go from this ^_^ to this O_o to this -_-;; and finally this X_x. Especially if you choose an anime OST, preferably those from Magic Knight Ray Earth or YuGiOh.




Filed under boyfriend, single

18 responses to “How to be 22 y/o and still not have a boyfriend…

  1. anndie

    When i tell guys I’ve been SSB, they automatically think I’m a lesbian. It doesn’t help that I came from an all girl school.

  2. mel

    No. 8 rolls me over. ROFL.

  3. Ade

    Let me guess, you’ve tried all these things?

  4. I’m already 17 and I don’t even intend to have a boyfriend. In our class, there’s this NBSB group consisting of the most studious girls in the section. We’re proud of the fact that no guy has ever made our lives miserable. When guys ask for my number, I tell them that I have no cellphone. Who cares? And as to what Anndie said, some people think I am lesbian just because they are aware that I haven’t had a boyfriend yet. And oh, you’re still cool! 🙂

  5. funnysexy

    @ Anndie

    When i tell guys I’ve been SSB, they automatically think I’m an alien. Or suffering from chronic epilepsis.

    @ Mel

    Welcome to my blog! ^^ GAY PORN FTW!

    @ Ade

    The things mentioned above may or may not be based on me

    @ Deepotpot

    Dear, you’re like.. 17. When I was 17 mysle,f I didn’t intend to have a BF either (well, I fell in love but it’s a different case). Most people I knew before were only allowed to have a boyfriend til they’re 18. Hell, some didn’t have a BF til they’re 19 or 20 and they got pregnant. So yeah, it’s pretty early for you… Enjoy your youth. And wtf my comment made me feel old. X__x

  6. JUST SO YOU KNOW I’VE ALWAYS DONE NUMBER 6. And I’m 19. Okay now point there, but I probably don’t want a boyfriend yet, I’m trying to make myself pretty so I can come back a year later and laugh at the assholes I know.

  7. Victoria aka Beekers

    Kring, natilamsikan ako ng mantika sa #10 XDDD

  8. hahaha go genki girl!!!! i just love that outfit :p

  9. funnysexy

    @ MIRA

    Ahahahaha! *apir* But you’re still young in my books and I say fuck it to all the guys who only likes pretty chics. Srsly, I had HS crushes ask me out now that I look different from before.

    @ Beekers

    Ka-relate? ^_~

    @ Kirby

    It’s coz you dig Japanese high school girls, noh? 😛

  10. hahahaha wow you really hit the spot 🙂

  11. funnysexy

    @ Ade:

    @ Kirby:

    Unfortunately, dear, I ain’t a schoolgirl nor a Japanese. I tried to be but failed miserably and I can’t believe those rhymed. -_-” but hey, I’m still hot.

  12. Darla

    9. Impersonate random singers like Britney, Shakira or Mandy Moore in front of random people while randomly dancing at the school halls.

    I did that one, except it was Arashi and I was a bit tipsy at the time (nothing impresses guys more than the dance moves from “Kittou Daijoubu” >.<).

    I’m a bit tempted to go on a “males suck and aren’t worth fretting over rant,” but I understand where you’re coming from because I was in the same situation of having been single for a long time, and it does suck. I will say this though, don’t rush into anything because it will likely end up being unfulfilling and only hurt you in the long run.

  13. funnysexy

    @ Darla

    Whoah! Are they guys who understand Japanese ‘coz if they were, I’m sure they would’ve gone “Sugeeeeee!!” but if they’re white, then yeah… 😛 Oh don’t worry, hun! I’m not rushing! I don’t think I can handle it right now even. Hence, I’m sure next year I’d be posting How to be 23 y/o and still not have a BF. LOLERCOASTER.

  14. Darla

    Haha, no, they were white and one Mexican and they just kind of stared at me. I had a good time though. 🙂 And good, because the last thing you need is to end up with some idiot boy who ends up screwing you over because he’s a stupid bastard who doesn’t know any better (and I’m so not being bitter or anything here…).

  15. lilone

    oh dear…. so i’m not the only 20 years old SSB on this planet??! i think i spend way too much time fangirling over JE boys than actually paying attention to boys around me… i set a higher goal… and yes #10 applies to me… except i’ve never reached 5 years… the last guy i was in love with… 3rd year in i was told he’s a bi… well no he put on his profile that he’s interested in male+female… but all his friends speculate that he’s gay and not bi… very very very saddening…

  16. SiHo Mara

    yo #10 hits me the hardest… but i think i’ll me moving on.. coz i dont wanna be an old maid :p

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