Monthly Archives: August 2007

I was on the News!

… or at least, I was interviewed for a news program. Yes I know, my title was misleading.

I mean, it shouldn’t be a big deal as I have done cameos and some TV stuff before but it just excites me to think that I was/will be (I don’t know when it’ll air) on a legit news show of a major network- if I won’t get edited out, that is. And more importantly, I was being filmed and I didn’t even have to wear a wig. Sexaayyyy!

Though I ask, why must I not be wearing make-up or even just lipgloss? And goddamn it, why must I have pimples?!?!

READ THE REST HERE.

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F+S Videoblog

Hi. I’m Kring. And I want to have a videoblog.

Okay. So I initially intended this to be an FSVB (Funny+Sexy Videoblog) back when I conceptualized this last January and obviously it got a bit delayed, much like my menstruation.

Anyhowwsss… I even already had ideas for my videos. Don’t worry. Just in case, you won’t be seeing me ranting about my hair that’s made of steel or showing you my newly-purchased Pacino Wan jeans. The videos would prolly compliment my lame entries and showcase the awesomeness that is my mean Britney Spears impersonation. (Or you can also watch me at Klownz and Punchline for that)…

READ THE REST HERE.

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Am I lezbo? Yes! If you are, too…

No, this is not to proclaim to the world (via the intahnetzzz) that I prefer the bees more than the birds nor is this a desperate attempt for guys, preferably the hot ones to hook up with me and perhaps convert me back to “straightness”. I refuse to talk about my sexual preferences, really, but I tell you this much now- some girls just want to make me swear off the idea of being with the opposite sex. If they ever decide in some cosmical way to spend their time with me and iunno, make out and such then gaddemmet!!! I’m all in, baby!

Kitagawa Keiko

2 words: Sailor Mars. Eversince I laid eyes on her some years ago on Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon , I knew that we were meant to be. (Yes, there was a live action version of the anime… And yes, they had blue/yellow hair and PVC costumes. You can stop scratching your head now. >_>) Okay, maybe we’re not really so OTP but to this day, I still believe that she is the prettiest Asian girl in the biz… like ever. She is to me the epitome of drop dead pretty. She almost looks too perfect that I often mistake her for a doll. No, not the blow up kind, you perve!

READ THE REST HERE.

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Fresh Grad Blues (isang pagse-senti ng gutom)

A year ago, our class mailing list was flooded with complaints and ramblings of how real life sucks. It made me do a little essay-rant – in Filipino (because yanno, I write in my native language, too) and now I share this with everyone, both those who are still in school and those who are stuggling in the real world. Also, this is to prove that I don’t use the word penis in all my writings.

Fresh Grad Blues
090106
(Para sa UST CA4 ’06)

Biyernes ng madaling araw, alas tres. Nanunuyot na ang mga mata mo’t nagsusumigaw na pahingahin mo na sila. Ilang oras ka na rin namang nakatutok sa encyclopediang binabasa mo, este compilation pala ng mga photocopied articles tungkol sa mga kaso laban sa COMELEC. Ang dugo mo ay pinag-halong kape at Extra Joss at ang iyong mga labi, bestfriend na si Marlboro. Walang humpay ang kaibigan mo (na eventually naging kaaway mo na naging kaibigan mo ulit) sa kaka-text sa ’yong i-email mo na yung Chapter 5 ng thesis dahil toka mo yun.

Sounds familiar?

Ito tayong lahat ilang buwan bago ang graduation. Feeling natin sobrang busy na ng buhay, para bagang napagkaisahan ng mga guro, paaralan at buong educational system na pahirapan ang mga malapit nang mag-martsa sa entablado at pilitin silang sumuko sa laban. Pero hindi, hindi maaari. Dahil sa dulo ng lahat, may nag-aabang na pa-premyo – isang diploma (at kung swerte ka, medalya pa).

READ THE REST HERE.

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Why Japan Pwnz the World

I think it’s common knowledge among my peers that I am a Japanophile. Others may consider me an otaku (in its loose sense, maybe) but I swear, you could rummage through my stuff and you won’t find any hint of anime there. Okay fine, I got Love Hina but that’s Reya’s. And I have a stack of Japanese magazines, which I can’t, for the love of God read but I bought for the sole purpose of ogling anorexic, half-nekkid, androgynous boys! And sure, I have doramas, movies and whatnot and am currently listening to Salyu’s Tobenai Tsubasa but do these make me an otaku?

Anyway, people have asked me why I like the country. I’m not sure, really. Maybe I’m fascinated with the culture, with the people and maybe, just maybe, with their crack ‘coz we all know nothing beats Chepeneez crack. Hence, this entry and my little list.

1. The Utamaro Festival

Where else in the world can you find a GIANT PINK PENIS being paraded in the streets? Man, and I thought our Parada ng Lechon (Roasted Pork Parade) was winner enough. Forget subliminal phallic symbols, this is the real deal. The huge, erect manhood is in fact being carried around by transvestites and random candies in the shape of peens and bargynas are given away to the children. No shit. The festival apparently dates back to 200 years but I have forgotten what the hell it is for or even why the “statue” has to be pink. I want a miniature version though, as paper weight for my office desk. Anyone?

READ THE REST HERE.

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I Need Balls (the kind that hang inside a scrotum)

Reality check: My balls aren’t as big as I thought they were. I’ve always felt that I could conquer the world and pwn everyone’s faces if I wanted to but now I’m seriously doubting my skills. Starting Monday, I’d have to deal with and prove myself to some of the industry’s biggest names and I swear to God my testicles are now in my throat- and wtf, did I mention I’m a tranny girl?

Orayt, let me explain. Do you know how it feels to want something so bad for a long time and the moment it’s given to you, you suddenly want to chop it into little pieces, fry and eat it and then poop it out the window? Well, I’m having such a dilemma. I want to do it, holy fuck I do. My boss is right. This gig will put my name on the map BUT. THE. PRESSURE’S. GIVING. ME. A. NERVOUS. BREAKDOWN. KTHNXBI. Thinking about it makes me vomit inside my mouth, to be honest.

READ THE REST HERE.

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How to be 22 y/o and still not have a boyfriend…

To all the girls who want to be SSB (Single Since Birth) until they’re 22 or even older, read on and learn how it is done.

1. Stuff your bra with newspaper for a stage performance.
Your mad-awesome divaliscious Mariah Carey spoof/stand up gig ought to be done in front of your entire high school, just before you graduate. If a random batchmate asks if he can touch your hardened E-cups, allow him to. Afterall, it’s just crumpled paper, right? This may hunt you ’til your grandkids get married but hey! It’ll work, I tell you.

2. When guys ask you for your number, tell them “Sorry but my parents are strict”.
Well, even if your parents don’t care if you fail your subjects or they allow you to sniff cocaine, bottomline is, guys have to know that you’re not an easy ho.

3. Sing on your first date. A Japanese song. And fail miserably.
This won’t let you down, promise. You could expect your date’s reaction to go from this ^_^ to this O_o to this -_-;; and finally this X_x. Especially if you choose an anime OST, preferably those from Magic Knight Ray Earth or YuGiOh.

READ THE REST HERE.

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