The Misadventures of the Palawan Gang (3/3)

I swear it kinda creeps me out that I’ve been updating a little too often for my own good these past few weeks but heh, the shoot for our new show starts on Monday and I pretty much would be internet-less for 4 days a week for the next 2 months. Dangyunhaji’d!!!

Anyway, I bring you the last installment of my Palawan Experience videos. I warn you that we went swimming, hence, we were wearing swimming clothes. Shuddup. Stop laughing. >_> Also, we went karaoke-ing, where I pwned them with my rendition of Britney Spears’ Sometimes and Joey Potter’s On My Own but P0yt kicked all of our asses.

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Caption This! aka LOLKrings

If you have noticed, I don’t really post much pictures of myself on this blog- but that doesn’t mean I’m not narcissistic. Yebbah. I like to have my photos taken though most of the time I look like I’m on crack, hence, I don’t really post ’em here for fear that a talent scout might stumble upon this blog of lol and it might jeopardize my potential modeling career. Whoohoo.

This will probably be one of the few times I’d be posting my photos here anyway so uhm… enjoy? Good luck? Errr… Take care? Pislabenrakenrol? (Also, I put crack!captions for each pic, according to what I was thinking just before the photographer clicked the camera.)

Photos by Cathy Laqui

“Who ate my hipon? Huhuhu…”

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There was once an Ugly Girl…

WARNING: This post is extremely long. And it has no pictures.

There was once a girl so ugly, she’d sometimes just look at herself in the mirror and cry. ‘A face only a mother could love’? Psssh! Screw that. Because even her own mom never thought she was pretty. Well, actually she used to be a cute kid until she turned seven and it was all downhill from there.

Her classmates would call her names like “tamby” (walis tambo), or “wooly” (steel wool), or “skurry” (Scary Spice) because of her dry, unruly mane, which was so fucked up, it was often mistaken for pubic hair. She’d often sit in a corner with furrowed eyebrows and wonder what the hell was wrong… until many many years later, she would discover the miracle we all call shampoo and conditioner.

Her teeth wasn’t the nicest in the world, too. She’s congenitally anodonsic and had a Madonna-gap between her upper front teeth. And so, in mid-puberty she wore braces and basically looked like Betty La Fea for 4 1/2 years.

This said ugly girl also had utmost hate for her complexion. Living in a society where people associate fair skin with beauty (uhm, hello German Moreno? Yachang?), her dark skin (DARK, mmmkay? Not olive. She’s no Jennifer Lopez) had always been a disadvantage. She had tried to many ways make it more… white and obviously failed miserably because one cannot bask under the sun and expect to be as translucent divine as the JaBoom twins. Also, she found out that leaving soap to dry or using industrial-level loofah to scrub skin with don’t work for shit.

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The First Kiss

In time, I’d forget how you look like. Your eyes, your prominent cheekbones, the spiked hair you wanted to have dyed. Perhaps I’d even forget your name and the sound of your voice will slowly fade from my memories. We spent just a few hours together anyway and I did not have a clue of your existence prior to that fateful night.

I’d move on with my life and you will, too, a million miles away from me. We’d never see each other again as our love story was merely meant to be 9 hours long. The credits rolled a little too early.

But let it be known that I will never forget about you. You, who held my hand as we walked on the pavement by the sea. We did not care if we stood out among the crowd of people in jogging wear and sweatshirts. For once, I felt like someone was there to take care of me and I was reminded that I, too, am a woman. I will not forget how your fingers encased my palm nor how your pulse beat against mine.

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This is the Entry Where I Show You My Boobs

Do you remember this recent post? Why O__o? Well, one of my winnar friends, Mishi (the girl I was with at the iblog afterparty) made a really crack collage that would totally make Korean fangirls hate me.

my layout ate this image. whadachamp.

LOL. I just sit and wait until this reaches the Korean netizens. Who knows, I might start getting comments like “sHUt uP U d0NT luK Lyk TEUKIE OppA 1 BiT, U wHor3!!!111one!” or even end up getting poisoned by one of them! I won’t mind meeting Gackt this Lee Teuk kid someday though. I mean, I have a male Korean celebrity for a twin- it’s supposed to be a good thing, right?

In another note (which is related to the title), I’ve finally accepted that most guys have bigger boobs than me. Serious. Even my mother would laugh at my chest when she sees me in tight tops. I mean, I’m so flat, I look like this topless.

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A Message for Ade and Coy

I’ve been hearing some stuff floating around lately and to be honest with you, I think they’re very much with the LOL. People have been asking me what’s the deal and all but uhm, I’m no celebrity and this is not The Buzz. However, here are some messages for Ade and Coy, which are even on video. (I mean, I’m not a vlogger for nothing).

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6 Types of Guys I Want to Date

I only started dating about a year ago (yes, because I’m a fail like that) and I must say it’s been a fun ride so far. However, I do believe that one must explore and try out as many “fishes” out there in the ocean to find what suits her most. Hence, this list of guys I’d like to date…

1. The Rockstar
Profession: Musician, Writer, Director and the like
Idea of a date: Gig of his or his friends’ band- at Big Sky.
Pro: He’s a star. I’m a star. From the start, it’s already a match made in artsy-fartsy heaven.
Con: Groupies. FUCKING BREAST-FLASHING, ONE-NIGHT-STAND-OFFERING GROUPIES. And not to forget, mood swings.

Because of my work, I’m in the same circle as a lot of these “rockstars and artists” and it’s not that hard for me to meet one. But I remember this musician dude who was the first person who ever confessed his feelings for me and though he’s majorly hot and talented, he reeked of alcohol and yosi by default.

Seriously though, I think THE ROCKSTARS are hot. Won’t mind being asked out by one. Or two. Or five. Or more.

READ THE REST HERE.