Category Archives: balls

I Love Guys Without Balls! (and Lance Bass is totally straight)

– I thought of making a disclaimer that this is a non-male-bashin’ post but I decided not to. Take it however you want and please don’t make assumptions as to what evoked me to write this entry. –

“Akala ko iba ka. Akala ko ‘di ka tulad nila. Wala ka rin palang bayag. (I thought you were different. I thought you were not one of them. You, too, don’t have balls afterall.)”

I have long realized that one of the major reasons why I’m not too lucky with guys is because I think I have bigger balls than many of them. Sorry if this sounds cocky lolz. cock and balls in one paragraph ftw! but maybe, just maybe, it’s ‘coz I hang out with people my age, most of whom are still very insecured. I do not discount the fact, however, that (and I’ve been told this by A LLOOOTTT of people) I can be fierce and intimidating and look like I’m ready to slice off peens anytime.

But yeah, one of my pet peeves are guys without balls and I do mean that figuratively. I don’t discriminate against eunuchs and castrati, okay? I even made a list of the different kids of GWB’s (guys without balls) for mah ladies so they can stay away from ’em.

1. “I have no balls that’s why I can’t fight for you.”

So you’ve been dating this guy and things are going well between both of you and then all of a sudden, over dinner, he tells you that you should stop seeing each other. Whoah WTF. Where’d that come from? Like a total wuss that he is, he then apologizes and explains that his friends and family talked to him about you and gave their disapproval (because you’re Pinoy and he’s Chinese or he’s from an affluent family and you’re not or they learned about your past and his mom went berserk).

I’m not saying I’m the biggest fan of the “you and me against the world” kind of relationships but why go out in the first place with someone whom you know your family would disapprove of? Oh, right. ‘Coz you’re an idiot.




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I Need Balls (the kind that hang inside a scrotum)

Reality check: My balls aren’t as big as I thought they were. I’ve always felt that I could conquer the world and pwn everyone’s faces if I wanted to but now I’m seriously doubting my skills. Starting Monday, I’d have to deal with and prove myself to some of the industry’s biggest names and I swear to God my testicles are now in my throat- and wtf, did I mention I’m a tranny girl?

Orayt, let me explain. Do you know how it feels to want something so bad for a long time and the moment it’s given to you, you suddenly want to chop it into little pieces, fry and eat it and then poop it out the window? Well, I’m having such a dilemma. I want to do it, holy fuck I do. My boss is right. This gig will put my name on the map BUT. THE. PRESSURE’S. GIVING. ME. A. NERVOUS. BREAKDOWN. KTHNXBI. Thinking about it makes me vomit inside my mouth, to be honest.



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