Do Not Step on the Yellow Line or Imma Smack Yo’ Face!!!

I’ve been taking the MRT almost everyday the past 2 years and I’d like to believe that much like the other Manila commuters out there, I won’t have a hard time going around when I go abroad just because I’ve been to hell and back. Like when you’ve survived being trampled on by rabid korean popstar fangirls and nothing in life can faze you anymore. Yeah.

So lemme share with you some of the interesting “characters” I’ve encountered inside the train. I won’t include anymore that motherfucker who stole my wallet last June, which is really retarded as I ALWAYS ride the all-female coach *tears hair*. Zen, Kring… Zen.

Anyway, one time, I was already seated and then this girl came in from another station, stood in front of me and held onto the circural thing on the horizontal bars. Pretty normal, huh? Well, not until she lifted her arms ‘coz good lord, I saw a forest over there! I think she hadn’t shaved in a month or so and she was wearing this low-cut spaghett-strapped top, which kind of boggled me. I mean, why wear sleeveless tops when you haven’t shaved? Thing is, she looked like a nice, sweet girl, a little on the chubby side, and she even smiled at the other passengers so I thought what the hell, maybe she just lost her razor. Or maybe she’s half French.


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24 Comments

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24 responses to “Do Not Step on the Yellow Line or Imma Smack Yo’ Face!!!

  1. Most of the time, I use the jeep-MRT-LRT loop whenever I go to school. And yeah, I’ve encountered a lot of “surreal” people inside the train. At one time, I entered the train filled with “emo” kids. I was stressed that day, and the negative atmosphere drained more energy from me. Scary shit, I’m telling you.

    Recently, I encountered an actual snatcher. One of the passengers opened his bag, then the snatcher grabbed something from the open bag. There, nahuli. Buking. He almost got beaten to a bloody pulp, but there are a lot of passengers so that didn’t really happen. [Wait, can I call this “surreal”? Sorry, I’m nasasabaw when I typed this…]

  2. grabe naman yung forest. haha.

  3. Hehe… That’s why I always try to sleep whenever I take the MRT, sitting even more so when I’m standing.

  4. “..much like the other Manila commuters out there, I won’t have a hard time going around when I go abroad just because I’ve been to hell and back.”

    this is so true. i used to take the lrt, both 1&2, everyday when i go to school. (line 1 is much worse than hell, i wouldn’t want to go back.) when i got to try the lrt here in canada, wala akong masabi. no pushing, pulling, awful smell, rubbing off of sweats, strangling of bags or whatever. i know someone who doesn’t even want to ride the train here, “cause it’s crazy. it’s always full!” daw. i could just imagine her taking our LRT. haha

  5. anndie

    i took the mrt once it’s not as bad as the lrt. lol

    mm subways here are prtty bad too.
    homeless ppl pa .

  6. funnysexy

    @ Deranged Writer
    I’ve encountered emo people in the train, but mostly girls with excessive black eyeliner, thankfully not in packs. And hahaha! it’s fine… I’m glad you shared your “surreal” MRT moment!

    @ stoxbnx3
    I. Wish. I. Was. Exaggerating. Really.

    @ Philos
    I’m kind of uncomfortable sleeping in the MRT, aybe because I’m afraid I’d miss my stop. lulz.

    @ Ennuh
    Nice name! Thanks for dropping by my blog, dear.I bet people from India would say “Oh! What a very comfortable transit system you have…” Have you seen their trains there? CRAZY!

    @ Anndie
    True. LRT’s route’s not my most fave in the world. Oh, subways! Man, I’ve read of some horror stories about it.

  7. yeah, it’s sick! i wish they could find a larger one to accommodate the whole India. lol

    your blog really is funny and sexy. 😉

  8. hahaha kring. so funneh!

    i used to take the mrt from magallanes to north (my office was in is FAR-anaque and i live in QC) and man, i cannot list down all the funny/weird/scary stories from those two years. add mo na rin yung mga 30-40ish ladies who wouldn’t stop bickering — from magallanes to north, NON-STOP. umabot pa nga sa may nagka-physical-an na eh. like you, i ALWAYS stay at the women/elderly’s coach. women are rabid creatures, i tell you.

    but the Singapore MRT experience is a different story altogether. do you like curry? if not, i suggest you DO NOT take the train. heh. no offense to singaporeans reading this blog. and oh, reklamo din nila na puno daw ung train. eh hello, pde pa nga ako humiga sa gitna eh. ang sarap nilang dalhin sa manila at pasakayin ng mrt starting at CUBAO during RUSH HOUR. 😐

  9. Two Kim Jong Ils making out… very graphic! LOLOLOL

    Lately I’ve been inclined to take the bus instead. I’m usually guaranteed a seat and I don’t have to stuff myself into an MRT. For the guys kasi, siksikan galore. I swear, some dude was fondling my butt this one time. I was like… whaaa… is it flat enough for you? LOLOL

  10. Hener

    Haha! funny forrest.

    My crotch was grabbed once, by a goon-looking gey. Scary shit.

  11. Kai

    that’s why I try to avoid the trains as much as possible. :))
    MRT + rush hour = ONE HELL OF A TRIP!

  12. funnysexy

    @ CLaude
    LOL. yeah. imma be at singapore starting tomorrow til monday. would sure try their trains! 😀

    @ George
    That’s true. I’ve been taking the bus recently, too but only til philcoa. Buses take too long for me eh. And lolz. I’m sure that dude didnt mind if it was flat.

    @ Hener
    GOON-LOOKING FTMFW!!

    @ Kai
    inoeryt. if gas prices weren’t so bad…

  13. Dude, would you believe that a mentally retarded looking fellow offered me a seat on the LRT1 then started asking stuff about me i.e. whats my job, where i live and shit like that? I was so embarrassed i pretended i fell asleep. We happened to go off the same stop and he attempted to get my number. WTF. Retard magnet!

  14. so what station do you get on? imma gunna stalk you. lulz.

  15. Ade

    “Or maybe she’s half French. ”

    I have to agree.

  16. vantuten


    ennuh Says:
    i know someone who doesn’t even want to ride the train here, “cause it’s crazy. it’s always full!” daw. i could just imagine her taking our LRT. haha

    “crazy, always full” description of Canadian trains starts when there are 5 people standing. HUHLOLZ. i travel by bus and GoTrains, and i gotsa say there are some smelly passengers, but yeah pushing is prohibited at all times because you’ll get kicked off the bus/train on the next stop.

    BTW, funny entry here. keep it up as to i enjoy reading about random things in the philippines, especially at work.hehe.

  17. Oh Before way back nung nasa pilipinas pa ako, I saw girls slipping their shoes (w/ takongs) off into the platform gap… As in TWICE ako nakakita ng ganun… Poor girls, inde tuloy pantay ang paglalakad nila papunta sa office.

    I experienced one time, yung face ko na kumiskis sa sa glass ng MRT doors habang sumasara ito… puno kase…

    Then I remember a very funny but breath-taking scene in the MRT, i was standing behind the yellow line and behind me was the mob. As in habang dumaraan sa harapan ko yung each door ng MRT they were pushing me towards the train! As in sobrang bad trip! Sa sobrang galit ko… sumigaw ako… “HOY ANO BA KAYO AYOKO PANG MAMATAY BAKA GUSTO NYONG MAUNA MGA &@(*$@$##!%%*& NINYO !!!!????” Madali kase uminit ulo ko lalo na kapag life and death situation na wahahahaha…

  18. O WTF u are here in Singapore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????

  19. you’re going Sg? wow! tour package ba to? make sure to pass by the charles and keith outlet store by anchorpoint mall. i swear, bargains all over. i can take you there if you want. hahaha!

    and make sure to try chicken rice! 🙂

  20. aba ang dame mo palang fans Kring from SG ha! wahahahahahahaha

    Try riding the train in the Violet Lane!!! Its kinda cool! kase walang driver yun, its computerized na train…. safe naman… wahahahaha

  21. Vantuten: yeah, it’s considered public harassment already & legal proceedings may follow. haha bawal talaga ang tulakan and everything. how i wish may ganyan rin sa pilipinas para naman stress-free ang commuters.

  22. shokizuki

    Sabi ng prof ko sa Filipino, ung friend daw ng wife nya (both his wife and friend are Germans….wait, Russian ata O___o;; German na lang XP) The friend told him that in Germany, ‘forest’ (as you describe it) is considered sexy…. LOL, nasa Pinas ka hija XD

    Experience? Beware of DOM -inside the all female coach -____-;;
    Grabe muntikan ko na talaga karate-hin ung mama kung di ko inassume na asawa sya nung matandang babae din (sayang dapat talaga di ako nag assume dahil hindi pala nya asawa un X__x;;)

    Grabe experiences mo sa MRT ah, ahahahah XD
    BTW, NASA SINGAPORE KA? O_____________________O;; wait for meeeeh XD

  23. Haha, talaga bang sinabi iyon sa PA system? Lol.

  24. all that hair, good grief. :O well… i have a friend who was annoyed to have this other guy making him ‘kiskis’ from behind. :O

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