There was once an Ugly Girl…

WARNING: This post is extremely long. And it has no pictures.

There was once a girl so ugly, she’d sometimes just look at herself in the mirror and cry. ‘A face only a mother could love’? Psssh! Screw that. Because even her own mom never thought she was pretty. Well, actually she used to be a cute kid until she turned seven and it was all downhill from there.

Her classmates would call her names like “tamby” (walis tambo), or “wooly” (steel wool), or “skurry” (Scary Spice) because of her dry, unruly mane, which was so fucked up, it was often mistaken for pubic hair. She’d often sit in a corner with furrowed eyebrows and wonder what the hell was wrong… until many many years later, she would discover the miracle we all call shampoo and conditioner.

Her teeth wasn’t the nicest in the world, too. She’s congenitally anodonsic and had a Madonna-gap between her upper front teeth. And so, in mid-puberty she wore braces and basically looked like Betty La Fea for 4 1/2 years.

This said ugly girl also had utmost hate for her complexion. Living in a society where people associate fair skin with beauty (uhm, hello German Moreno? Yachang?), her dark skin (DARK, mmmkay? Not olive. She’s no Jennifer Lopez) had always been a disadvantage. She had tried to many ways make it more… white and obviously failed miserably because one cannot bask under the sun and expect to be as translucent divine as the JaBoom twins. Also, she found out that leaving soap to dry or using industrial-level loofah to scrub skin with don’t work for shit.




Filed under ugly, Uncategorized

26 responses to “There was once an Ugly Girl…

  1. Pingback:   There was once an Ugly Girl… by The Philippines According to Blogs

  2. You aesthetically challenged? Hard to believe πŸ™‚

  3. I think this girl’s a shapeshifter or something. LOL

    This post is good – not really emotional; more of nostalgic and encouraging as well. Something that tells people that the misery and all aren’t for forever. πŸ˜€

  4. funnysexy

    @ Juned
    For most of my life, actually. I just came from a dinner with family friends and the titos and titas commented that I look soooo different now. Skinnier and fairer, at least. ^_^;;

    @ UtakGago
    Oh believe me. If you had seen me 3 years ago, you wouldnt even have given me a second look. And thanks! πŸ˜€ Here’s to all the ugly ducklings out there! *apir*

    @ Ria Jose

  5. Ade

    This is the most honest entry of yours ever. AHLAVET!

  6. Ilang beses ko na binalikan tong entry na toh. Out of words talaga ako… aw! Nalink ako ni funnysexy oh! Ahihi

    Funny is definitely the new sexy! WOOHOO! This is a brave and daring post. I admire your guts. πŸ˜‰

  7. Show us some ugly pictures πŸ˜›

  8. You’re. Kidding. Right??
    When I first laid eyes on you, I actually said to myself, ‘WTF you doin’ on the wrong side of the fence!?!’ πŸ˜€

  9. Kai

    Grabe. Love this post. πŸ˜€

    And I saw your pics when you were still in.. college?.. I think.
    You were not ugly. πŸ™‚

    You just look waaaayyy hotter now AND you’re super charming. πŸ˜‰
    Uhm. Yeah. That just sounded so lesbo. LOL :))

  10. funnysexy

    @ Ade
    Why, thank you so much Mr. Magnaye! ^_^

    @ Hener
    Pero hindi mo naman ako pinapansin sa blog mo… U_U Also, great job on your baby Bronson post! Really appreciate it, man.

    @ Blogie
    Oh I wish I was! Ahahahaha. Awwww… That was so sweet! Thanks, dear. I like offbeat events. I mean, mainstream shit like those organized by agencies with celebs and stuff are far too common for me. I’m a closet geek. ^_^;;;

    @ Kai
    You know I love you, right? But not in a lesbo kinda way LOL.

  11. There NEVER was an Ugly Girl, tru the eyes of the creature, all of us are beautiful…

    pero grabe naman, sa ganda mo na yan, sasabihin mo pang pangit ka, ano pa bang gusto mong itsura maladyosa? joke hehehe!

  12. I can’t imagine the unpretty you that you talk about here. Or were you talking about somebody else. Dun dun duuuuun

  13. Oddly enough, it’s my first time to visit your blog. I’ve been meaning to, specially after we sorta met during the TMB Banana Gangbang Rock Festival but I’ve been a bad netizen lately. Anyway, I’m here and to echo what a lot of people have been saying, it’s difficult to imagine an unpretty you. More often than not I think, ugly ducklings grow up into ugly ducks, just like yours truly.

  14. Hmm… really don’t know what to say, why the heck were you regurgitating food despite being skinny? And what do you mean skinnier if you were bulimic before? Help! I was trying to take down notes for when I turn into that swan :p

    Btw, fans club seriously?

  15. I can see how detailed your “ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan” story is. May pagka-FunnySexy parin yung post for a bit, pero with how up-close-and-personal this post is overall… I can say that this is my favorite post of yours so far. πŸ™‚

    On second thought, I can’t imagine you being an “ugly duckling”. The reason is that you’re so beautiful. No flowery statements can best describe how beautiful you are, actually. πŸ™‚

  16. Because of her looks (or lack thereof), the girl had to excel in other things so she wouldn’t just fade out in the crowd. She was active in drama, dance, school paper, production, Catholic org lol, fan clubs double lol and became an over-all extra-curricula activity whore while still managing to graduate with honors. According to her, she’d rather be ugly than be a nobody whose face and name you’d forget after 3 seconds.

    Wow. I did the same thing way back in college (well, almost LOL). I was active in the school dance troupe and leadership trainings so I graduated with a leadership award.

    In a way, i can relate to this post. I want to write an entry that is a bit similar to this, but i’m not that brave -yet.

  17. funnysexy

    @ Kulot
    Hindi naman. LOL. How do I say it ba? I DIDNT LOOK LIKE THIS BEFORE! X__x Though I don’t mind looking like a dyosa.

    @ Fritz
    Talking about me, honey… The ugly duckling me who was so in love with the backstreet boys.

    @ Peter Juan
    Why, hello there! Welcome to my blog. Actually, what I realized was that the pretty kids mostly end up screwed up in the head and too bad for them when they turn bad-looking eventually coz they dont have the looks to back them up. >_<

    @ Philos
    That’s why it’s a psychological disorder. You don’t think you’re skinny or pretty enough. Also, yes. Fans clubs. For a lot of shit. I was such a huge F4 fan that I attended gatherings every single week. And I was a founding member of the Philippine fan club of the biggest Korean boyband. Pwnd? I thought so… LOL.

    @ The Deranged Writer
    OMG. I have no words… Thank you. but you have to see me without make-up before I go out of the house! πŸ˜›

    @ Micamyx
    Awww… I’m glad my readers can relate to my posts somehow. I’d be looking forward to your entry. πŸ™‚

  18. lelan

    I’ve been reading your blog and you are funnysexy. People who say you are ugly, must be blind.

  19. wow, ganun naman pala e. mukhang nagugustuhan na kita hehehe!

  20. ahhh Kulot, sorry ha excuse me lang padaan lang! medyo nakaharang ka eh!!!! TUMABI KA!!! AKO NAUNA SA PILA!!!!!!!!

  21. ay ganun ba may pila ba? asan ang pila anong numero ka na ba umleo23, saan kukuha ng numero?

  22. hindi ko alam kung pang ilan ako sa Pila! Pero sure ako na nauna ako sayo!!! πŸ˜‰

    Sa tingin ko, karamihan naman sa atin is ganito rin ang nangyare, (i mean almost the same). Ako noon payatot na mukhang may sakit, tapos mukhang may baces ung upper teeth ko dahil lahat may sira at kulay itim na, tapos ginalis ako nung bata rin ako…

    Madalas when we get old tsaka lang tayo nagiging concern sa itsura natin, we never thought of kailangan pala ganito-ganyan when we were still young… πŸ˜‰

  23. typo *braces* yun…

  24. Leah Dizon

    Need to catch up w/ you girl…

    As usual, my sempai is as funny as ever XD
    Interesting read as always πŸ™‚
    Dapat meron kang drama series kahit sa Maalaala mo kaya (meron pa ba non? XD)

    catching up w/ your posts XD
    – kilala mo na ko? πŸ˜› +_+

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