To celebrate Velentine’s Day, FunnySexy and The Noisy Man decided to do a collab and go all apeshit emo about love.It is based on Ade’s brilliant quote and just so you don’t get confused, the pink pragraphs are mine and his are blue. Totally gay, I know. Enjoy it, folks and even if it’s as long as my thesis paper!
Broccoli of Dating
by Kring Elenzano and Ade Magnaye
February 14, 2008 (c)
“We are the broccoli of dating. We’re good for people, they just don’t want us.”
I’ve been single for the past 22 years and I think I’ve somehow flaunted that fact like a tiara on my head. To me, NBSB = high standards. Not. In reality, I’ve cried a little too much thinking that maybe, just maybe, I’m not good enough. You see, guys only started asking me out last year. Hell, I had my first real kiss just before the 2007 elections and I have never received a love letter in my life. Not even anything that says “I crush you. Pautang naman ng pamasahe…” (I have a crush on you. Can I borrow fare money?)
I actually did that to someone. Y’see, I was broke way back in college and I needed money REAL badly. So I like looked for the ugliest fattest, richest girl I could find. So I wrote the mushiest love letter I could think of and then five paragraphs on I asked for a hundred bucks so I could afford to eat lunch. And then she probably fell in love with me then and there. Yeah, I got my lunch money but I spent the next three years of college with a fat girl hiding in the bushes everywhere I go. Also, it was scary- wait aren’t we writing about the Broccoli of Dating? Yeah, so I just got my 20th Valentine’s Day date rejection. And my fifth restraining order.