I Fail at Flirting

Dear 2 readers,

My heart’s going dokidoki once again.

I am crushing on someone. Yihheeeee! Shuddup. I’m just 10 years old, mmmkay?

I know it shouldn’t be a big deal and even talking about it is kinda embarrassing as it only shows how much of a lame-o I am. As you probably know by now, I’ve never really been with anyone before. I’ve never had boys running after me and GUYS + KRING + SWEET/TOUCHY MOMENTS= DISASTARRRR!

You see, I don’t know how to flirt. I fail at it. If it was a subject in school, I would’ve gotten a consistent cinco. Whenever a guy makes his moves on me (which is very very very rare fyi), I start to panic, my palms begin to sweat and I feel a sudden lump in my throat. So the conversation would turn out like this:

GUY: So are you with someone right now?
ME: You mean like…
GUY: Yanno, a boyfriend.
ME: *internal siren wailing* (thinks: uh-oh) I, uh, never… had one. Uhm. Are you hungry?
GUY: Not really, no. *smiles* So what are you looking for in a guy?
ME: *palpitates* Uhm, I like… boys-next-door. And uhm, *shuffles feet* smart dudes.
GUY: Yah?
ME: *changes the topic* Can I show you my talent?
GUY: Sure!
ME: *makes gigantic spitbubbles*

At this point, guys usually excuse themselves to go to the C.R.




Filed under flirting

37 responses to “I Fail at Flirting

  1. Pingback:   I Fail at Flirting by The Philippines According to Blogs

  2. Auddie


    ~from the yet boyfriendless girl

  3. Maki

    Whao. This reminds me of someone who sent a very frank letter to her crush of three years. Sadly, that guy didn’t like her back. Now, this girl has some guy running after her yet she doesn’t know what to do next.

    *hit by lightning*

  4. What do I do? HELP.
    This is the first time you asked for help. Sadly, I’m clueless as well ^___^;; though you helped me about what I SHOULD NOT do by reading this entry XDD But really…I was really laughing hard between coughs that made me sound like a retarded sheep XD(colds -__-;;) XDD

    The girl who should stop acting like a gay guy
    PS: I think my boobies are growing.

    PWAHHAHAAH! I wonder what kind of guy will love you? Is he someone who should stop acting like a lezbo girl? XDD -jk
    Birds of the same feather, flocks together…yes..we’re the girls who are extremely amazing, oh wait, you’re the only one amazing here XD fails when it comes to lovelife -____-;;

    Crap! I sense that this coming week, a guy will finally start to flirt w/ me (or vice versa? XD LOL! I must remember this entry of yours about a guy named Alex XDD)

  5. funnysexy

    @ Auddie
    Yah? Wow, birds together flock feathers, indeed! *woot!*

    @ Maki
    Let me guess, you’re the girl, no? It’s fine, actually. As long as you don’t make the letter public and it’s just between you and him. Also, give the guy a chance. XD You never know, right?

    @ Shokizuki
    Oh, you’re right!It’s kinda rare for me to be clueless of what I’d do. Ahehehe. But wait, I wasn’t really trying to be funny though. XD YASS! I feel like I’d end up with a butch-looking guy. And goodluck on the dude whom you’d uhh… flirt with. πŸ˜› Just don’t pull a Kring on him!

  6. Ade

    Boobies are growing? Pics or it did not happen. lol.


    I even made him my famous yema but he turned out to be , well, lactose-intolerant.

    It would’ve been more awesome if he were allergic to peanuts.

  7. funnysexy

    @ Ade
    Actually, he did not even touch the yema. His friends all ate it and had I known, I would’ve given it to JoGar. Yanno JoGar? He loves my Yema! XD

  8. I have to get used to this not sending replies to my email..

    *hugs* Lots of catching up to do!! *writes self note to write long email*

    Well…I wish I could offer some advice but my romantic story runs like this “Shea likes guy – guy couldn’t care less…guy likes Shea – Shea couldn’t care less…last first date was only date with a guy who asked me to marry him on the first date because he wanted a Green Card.” Shea remains single to this day. The end.

    There was one strange 2 week time period when I got asked out every single day by guys that just weren’t my type. You never knew there were so many types of not your type. Tall, Short, Asian, White, Black, Jocks, Nerds, Goths, Sort of cute, not even cute… *shakes head*

    But conversation is a must. It’s obviously what gets things started. See if you can find out (unobtrusively) if you have something in common you like to talk about. If it’s super hot weather, or rainy, make a comment! If there was something on the news that caught your attention ask if he’s heard it, or if he’s even interested, it’ll give you a clue to what he likes. It also puts you in a position of control over the subject which should help with making things more comfortable with you at first. ^^

    And if you start to panic…deep breath…let it out…

  9. nerie

    oh! His name is Alex? hahaha. I remembered you said something about giving someone your ‘famous yema’.

    And sadly, I don’t know how to help you. Why not trying to be friends first? Acting normal would be cool too. πŸ˜€

  10. funnysexy

    @ Spacebunnygirl
    I know! I hope your dad’s better now. Ahahaha! Your love story’s so cool! And funny. And I do wish for that 2 weeks of my life to come. Though I’m sure I’d prolly not like it that much. Unfortunately, I have talked to him only once and so far I see some similarities. I don’t want to think too much about it, too but heh… It’d be nice if he’d like me in return, ne?

    @ Nerie
    Yups! he’d prolly go WTF if he learns I’ve blogged abotu him. TWICE. I kinda figured out the acting normal part, acting, meaning it would require effort on my part. XD Gawd, why must I be so weird?

  11. Pau

    Holy Shit! You know how to make spitbubbles too? High Five!

  12. Darla

    I’m not so great at flirting either. According to my roomie though, I do it without even realizing it sometimes (we were in NYC this one time and she says I was really flirting with a guy and I didn’t even think I was doing it).

    Advice wise, I would suggest toning down the stalker tendencies. Giving a guy a little present every now and then is nice (and it lets him know you have some interest). Giving himone every day is a bit excessive. It’s also better if the gift is something you know the guy likes. I.E. if you know he likes frogs, and you see a cute, not too expensive litle frog statue or something, buy it and give it to himand tell him you thought of him when you saw it. That not only tells him you are thinking about him, but that you remember things he told you (oh, and make sure he’s the one who told you about the thing he likes, otherwise, it will look stalkerish).

    Other than that, just be yourself because he’s not worth it if he doesn’t like you for you. Oh, and don’t be afraid to ask him out, even for a friendly event (my ex and I never would have gotten together if I hadn’t taken the initiative and invited him to play cards with me one time). Good luck, and I hope everything turns out ok.

    P.S. I’m in Japan now, and I saw a commercial with Nino in it last night and thought of you. πŸ™‚

  13. funnysexy

    @ Pau
    Yups! *high fives back* I showed it to my workmate the other day after he read this entry and didn’t think I can do it and needless to say, he was majorly pwned.

    @ Darla
    I know, I should really stop being a stalker. I mean, especially for my age, I don’t think it suits me anymore. Although I must sya over the years i have toned down… a bit. Ahehehe. Thanks for the advice, darlz but skdjgksgfkgkdfckhdkgfkh gaddemmet how come everybody goes to Japan but me!??! WATCHUDOINGTHURR?!

  14. yema is teh <3! stalking is fine. i do it all the time.

  15. RJ

    Spitbubbles WILL be a national sport one day, mark my words.

    ‘Grats on the bewbage growth spurt.

  16. funnysexy

    @ Ralphot
    ^_^ My yema has actually made someone a thief. XD But apparently stalking = not really hot for girls.

    @ RJ
    Thanks. But it could also be just my imagination…

  17. but stalking is HOT… for girls! i used to have one when i was still a rock star, or i thought i did. πŸ˜›

  18. Darla

    Studying abroad for a year. And, oddly, I’ve met another girl from the Philippines who is a Johnny’s freak and loves Nino. If I didn’t know what you look like, I would have thought it was you.

  19. funnysexy

    @ Ralphot
    You mean you’re not a rockstar anymore?! WAI.

    @ Darla
    jdhskdgfsdhgfhdhfldshlfhv,ch WAT. NOOOOO!!! *grabs on to Nino retardedly* Ahahaha! Gawd, have a great time there, hun! And prz to keep me posted on the latest happenings sending goodies would be fine, too LOL!

  20. Darla

    Um,let’s see… Kimutaku is still the man women most want to bang in Japan. Ryo and Okura made the list of choice pieces of man meat too, along with YamaPi and 9 other Johnny’s. I got Arashi’s latest single, saw a rerun of HanaKimi yesterday, and am going to watch Arashi on Music Station this friday. And I might be going to fangirl heaven today, aka the Johnny’s Shop. πŸ™‚

  21. 3 reasons. 1. a boy named thor; 2. corporate slavery; and 3… well, only 2. πŸ˜›

  22. funnysexy

    @ Darla
    hkjsfgksdgfrkgxdfksgelfdgf. *spazz* You can’t possibly NOT kidnap a Johnny for me, preferrably someone by the name of Ninomiya Kazunari or Uchi Hiorki. I’d pay for the FedEx, don’t worry.

    @ Ralphot
    Oohhh… Which band were you from? ^^

  23. you wouldn’t know us. we are obscure. we are low profile. we are… candyaudioline. o_O

  24. Darla

    My friend and I already have it planned out. We’re going for Jun and Aiba if we get to see Arashi, but those boys weigh next to nothing, so I’m sure we can grab Nino too.

  25. ali

    Let me start off with clarifying that, no, I’m not makingt sipsip. πŸ˜›

    Anyway, yeah…this came as quite a surprise to me because you look like the pretty girl type who constantly has a hoarde of admirers and boyfriends. ^^; Really.

    And…those things you did, fine, some guys might find them suffocation of pressuring, but I honestly think they’re sweet. ^^; I did the flowers and card thing for my ex and he thought it was cute. Or maybe that’s because it happened way back when we were both 15. xD Then again, maybe it just depends on the guy. ^^;;

    The thing is, my friend and I had this long-ish talk about something like this just the other day. I really believe that there’s no use in hiding what you really are; if you’re a dork, show that you’re a dork. If he doesn’t like it, then, honestly, he isn’t probably worth it. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to stand being in a relationship where I’m trying to mold myself into being someone that this person I like finds ideal. ^^;

    Anyway, whatever you decide to do about this, good luck! ^_______^v

    I’ve always meant to ask…do you speak to Reya in English? xD Because her nose always bleeds when we speak in all English to her. xDD Not literally, of course. xD

  26. elsa

    ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm you know i lack as much love experience as you do!

  27. funnysexy

    @ Ralphot
    Mmkay. I’d google you up then! πŸ˜‰

    @ Darla
    Nino and you get my virginity. Wait. No. I’d give it to him first then you… πŸ˜›

    @ Ali
    ^_^;; Wow, thanks! Geez. I didn’t really think I was pretty or anything. AT ALL. And I do agree with you that’s why I don’t think it worked for those guys coz if they got creeped out with what I did, then, how much more if they spent their days with me? I’d be the last person to “change” for someone else so if I have to be SSB forever, then wtf so be it!! WIN.

    Ahahaha. Reya? Yes, I do. And she tells me I’m cono daw which is totally wuuuttt?! Pero makulit kasi kami mag-kwentuhan so…

    @ Elsa
    YES I DO. πŸ˜€

  28. undextrois

    Can i say something without you getting offended ?(turns-red-and- blush) hmmm I think you’re “HOT”! thatsit i blew it!LMAO!
    nice entry πŸ™‚

  29. Woot boobies!
    I’m not very wise in the male department either. If you don’t know the consequences that comes with good flirting then you really shouldn’t be doing it. Most guys I know don’t like girls flirting for some reason grrrr.
    Your post is very entertaining. I think I’d be doing something freaky like spit bubbles too.

  30. Rossi

    Dear lovely Kring,

    Can we please stop doing this linking thing? for I am a lazy creature and just this one extra click tires me out and then I have to go re-stalk it later to see if you answer me or not b/c hello! no e-mail notifications…but it’s ok. i have much ❀ for you so i will continue with the re-stalking thing XD.

    but I agree with Ali said up there. Your hmm..how did you put it “Single since Birth” status, which btw,” hello, my name is Rossi and am also a SSB.” *bow and sit down*, still surprises me b/c:
    1. you’re very cute and charming looking
    2. you’re such an outgoing sweet kind of girl
    3. you’re hilarious and perverted, the latter which i says with respect and admiration XD
    and finally 4. if i swing that way, i would so date you which is saying a lot b/c i’m picky 8D

    anyhoo, what i’m trying to say is that I think you’re an awesome girl. don’t let guys validate who you are. and as for the flirting, my friends and I will run an experiment next month with flirting..i’ll come back to report on it for you. hehe.

    whoo. long rambling note. so i’ll stop b/f you no longer think i’m amusing -_-.

    take care, babe.

  31. funnysexy

    @ undextrois
    No offense taken but LOL, by “HOT”, what do you mean exactly? XP (This internet thing is indeed a great way to deceive people.. :P)

    @ Exene
    Thanks for dropping by my blog and I hope you’d check out the other entries, too! But I’d really like to know what those consequences are as I want to counter-attack ’em. -lame-

    @ Rossi
    You know you want to stalk me… You’re awesome like that I guess I really haven’t met the guy who can put up with my bitchiness and craziness. That, or they’re just gay. And Rossi, yanno I kindaswing that way. When do we make out? dlkshdflhldfh PRZ TO REPORT. ME NEED TO LEARN. You, to me, will ALWAYS be amuzing.
    love, Kring

  32. *cough*vry poor when it comes to those things gomen i have nuffin 2 say*stabs herself*

  33. amanda

    ok so there is this realy cute guy in my wv history class and i have known him scince kindergarden and if i am tlkng to my friend (whos a guy) named casey he gets all uptight and then starts tlkng to me and like i am the only person he tlks to in our class and i am in a group with him and out of the blue after lunch today he came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder and ran off and i cought him but he was joking i really like him and i wanna know if he likes me

  34. Rem

    is flirting really necessary? not that i haven’t done this. but i think this is the refuge of the desperate and the insecure (as i was or perhaps still am). it’s different from courting, or favoring your object of affection. flirting is like instant noodles. just add boiling water and it’s ready to eat. at this point in my life, i prefer the tedious but gratifying way of cooking. i must say, you are very pretty and intelligent (and sexy… and funny) to attract men. you don’t have to flirt. therefore, you don’t have to fail too.

  35. Rem

    i know you are a confident lady. and confidence is your security.

  36. Rem

    one more thing, men like to “lead” women.


    LOL, Don’t you worry, there’s a lot of girls out there including me ofcourse who totally don’t know how to flirt. It’s totally wrong with me too btw, cause girls usually fall in love with me not guys. WTF. Please I am girl as well damn it. Their boyfriends want me dead frankly speaking. HAHA. SHIT.

    KRING I MISS YOU! Wtf, we met at the jeepney, you treated me to transpo and then poof. LOL. *huggles your crazy ass*

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